The chat

Unfortunately in India every encounter is tainted by a certain level of distrust, particularly when the conversation is initiated by an Indian. It can be something of a game to try and determine as quickly as possible, using any clues available, why this person is talking to you. For instance today walking along a man asks us where we are from and gets excited when we (irish, english, israeli) tell him. Come in he says, insisting us into his home, introducing his family. The game begins. We talk a little with no clue, he's a machine technician, he has 3 kids, a few grandkids, likes what he's seen of Ireland and Israel on the tv, doesn't mention Engerland. I ponder as he talks. He is too close to a tourist attraction to be just curious about foreigners, other locals are bored by us. There is no evidence of any art that might be for sale, made by him or a family member. He has too many family members around to need the company. He mentions his wife does henna and a slight alarm goes off in my head but he is not very insistent and he has already said his wife is out. He talks about his son studying but he's not studying English (or Hebrew) so we can't be roped into tutoring. If we weren't quite the experienced tourists now we might even think he just enjoys the chat. But his tone implies a lead in. He mentions another Israeli person had got henna done there last month, this is it. Suddenly he flourishes a lone 20 shekels note from underneath his tablecloth. "How much is this worth?" he asks our Israeli friend. About 200 rupees ( 4 euro) she answers and he nods. "Could you change it?" he asks and then as explanation "My wife loves mints."



This might sound like a cynical way to approach interaction with the locals and I entirely agree. I value 10 minutes of no-ulterior-motive conversation with locals more than 10 hours wandering around temples but the regularity with which seemingly friendly conversations turn to someone's cousin's gallery or guesthouse is exhausting.



Very roughly they could be put into three groups. The first group, the sharks lets say, are all business. They are often the smoothest and friendliest, they will chat away to you, charming, make their lead in real gentle and be all smiles when you politely decline their commercial advances. However when they turn away you might just catch something in their expression or in the ensuing conversation they have with a friend that marks them as a shark. Other times these guys come across quite jaded, bored most likely, struggling to pretend they are interested in another group of sun-creamed ignorants.



The second group are those who seem to mix business with pleasure, they will chat and even be open about their business intentions but appear to take genuine pleasure from the exchange. (Obviously people in this group are sometimes actually just very good sharks.) Here you have the student who happily chats with you, insisting on bringing you to a restaurant you have only asked directions to, and then just before they leave almost reluctantly starting a spiel about an art shop they work in nearby. When you politely decline they seem nearly relieved that the deceit has been glossed over so quickly and they say their farewells with warmth. Also deserving a mention here are the beggar kids who tug on your trousers with sad, dirty faces, beseeching you as you battle your way through them into a rickshaw. Then as the rickshaw pulls away, their jobs done with no money having changed hands, they break into the widest of smiles and wave us off happily. And yes, i check my pockets after these exchanges and no, they aren't waving my wallet.



The third group are those people who are just as interested in us whities as we are in them. The friendliness of this group of people and their willingness to help is quite overwhelming. We are invited into wedding parties, to homes for dinners, we are invited into family photographs (some men get their wives to take the photo of them holding hands with the white girl). We hear tales of unbelieveable hardship told with humbling stoicism and smiles. Some of these stories i will have to relay at some stage. The ability of Indians to be cheerful, to enjoy the craic when things are basically shit, is astonishing. And the genuineness of these exchanges buries the cynicism, for a while at least, or until the next time someone opens with a smile, "Hello my friend, which country?".